Youth

 Hello! I am back~ This time with more pictures~  This is Andy. He is my so called brother cos he's so protective and caring towards me. I am thankful that he stays up to entertain me till I fall asleep and he very nice ah~  The letters that I wrote to thank the people who I had worked with^^  My pre-riding look. The wind is really super loud when we were on the underground tunnel. Timid me actually fell asleep cos I didn't want to hear the scary wind blowing. But it was super awesome experience:3  This is the super yummy yoghurt I had at Food Junction at Bugis Junction. Green apple and green tea:3  Hello:)  Bro~  Boy~  The 3Cs Girl~ Hello~ ♥With Love

Im so tired. Can I stop going through the cycle? sigh. ♥With Love

You were never mine in the first place. But I love you like you were, I still do. But there's nothing I can do about it anymore.  ♥With Love

I guess I disappeared online. No Twitter, Facebook nor Tumblr. HAHAHA. Technically, Im still here. Just.. I need somewhere to run away and forget about everything. About you. But I can't. Because it's me. Life's not that hard if you look at it in a nice way. I went for a really long run and am still not tired (weird~). Plus, I made pancakes this morning. I know this is a rare post. But no one reads my blog honestly so like, meh? Maybe I listened too much to my friends but then again, so do you. And I don't like that as I try my best to leave everything to fade away, I constantly break down. It's like I've lost all reason. It's like Im back at square one. And I've no means and no will to continue going. What am I saying~ Im sick:( Can't seem to recover. I think I must start being positive~ "Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?" Yeah. I don't sleep much either. LOL. Really, what am I saying~ Hmm.. I think my injuries ...

Hmm.. So Im currently in a relationship. Im not going to say that it has been easy. I mean a month plus and we've had our break downs and throw outs. But I hope we'll last as long as possible and make impossible possible someday.. And we started out unexpectedly and I didn't know that I could love like this. Thus Im thankful for him who always make me smile when Im down and hugs me tight when Im in a helpless state of mind.  ♥WJWS

I've not written in quite a bit. So I shall write a little more. I guess today I'm confused. It seems like I have fallen for someone. There's just something to him that makes me want to cry and be the most vulnerable one. I dunno if I like him or is it just I care for my empire. It's not easy. Sigh. ♥With Love

So basically, it's the holidays. Im broke. I've cleaned up my cardboard and then.. sigh. I can't buy clothes cos my first sister won't let me. And it sucks cos I want comfy clothes and all the clothes I have are those really tight or like supposedly nice. NICE IS NOT COMFY OKAY? There's a huge difference. I feel sad. Obviously. And it's not just that. Basically, I can't find a job. No one wants me. Im incapable. GREAT. And it doesn't get better from here on. I have camp from the 25-28th and I've not packed. Not anticipating it. And worse of all, my parents wants to go Bandung, Indonesia and I just wanna scream. SCREAM I tell you. I wanna go too but if I don't have money then how am I suppose to go? URGH. This is the saddest time of my life I swear.  ♥SIGH:/

It is but moments like this that trust falters and truth is twisted into lies. I don't know where it all began or why it did but that's not how a family should act.  ♥With Love

It's going to come to an end soon. But the pressure and stress, it really builds up. I don't even know where to start.The amount of work is just.. horrifying. You know they stereotype the Arts students in secondary school, yeah. I feel that now. I feel awful. I don't know a thing. And when I read up, I don't, I'm not.. that type of person who just sits down and can finish their work. I need so much time and effort just to get myself going. Somedays I just curl under my blanket and just 'wake up late' just because. And I don't know why or when I became like this. Don't talk about society to me. They just are. How can I even succeed if I can't overcome me. ME. I come late for lectures in the morning and sometimes, when my brain is fuzzed out, I just.. I just skip lectures. Im disappointing my parents and no, Im not suppose to do that. I am that daughter they go around boasting about to everyone. I just have to keep satisfying them I ...

 It's been a long time since I wrote anything. Im not gonna be a liar and say hey, Im okay! It's all getting tougher but I believe so yeah. I believe life is going to be better. I don't know what I'll turn into. But I will be. ♥With Love

I sat there crying. I sat there upset. I sat there angry. I sat there tired. I sat there silent. I sat there stressed. I sat there pressured. I sat there waiting. I sat there listening. I sat there crouched. I sat there falling apart. I sat there bursting. I sat there. I just sat there. I just sat there feeling ignored. ♥I sat there.

This is not normal. LOL. I've been obsessing. And surprisingly, I've been happy. HAHA. SCREW YOU BITCHES WHO TOLD ME I CAN'T BE HAPPY! 1. War. Mostly it's the true accounts and it's interesting. Especially Iwo Jima and Korean War. 2. Big Bang, Korean band. Let's say they're just so different from any other bands in the world. 3. Coffee. So Imma search for the best place for coffee. Seriously. The smell~~~ 4. Hair colour. HAHAHAH. EMERALD GREEN BABY 5.  Lyrics. Good lyrics are seriously a complete ♥Like A Boss

 Let's be honest. It's the start of the holidays. And I hate every inch of it. Im annoyed. Annoyed that all I ever wanted has become a big blotch of nothingness. What's squash to me now? It merely helps me to distress and feel better. But when I hate someone there, I lose it. I get fucking mad at how they infiltrate the space I call comfort. If you think I am fine, you thought wrong. I am happy. Happy on the inside. ♥We are merely humans. Remember that.

So go ahead and lie to yourself, and pretend that you're a ray of light, when you're a broken candle, you're keeping time with yourself, when did it all start moving way too fast, for you to handle, you're short on breath but heavy on time, you lost the words but you found the rhyme, it's all just poetry now. ♥Paradise Fears

My birthday is otw but lyk.. I dont want it to come know? Cos apparently, I have CSAS test on that day. 25% >.< ♥Dammit

 I must say.. You stole my attention and even when I try to ignore you , I can't:( You 're different you know that? You 're smart, funny, talented, fun &  mysterious. You are my motivation for the upcoming term test and I hope that you would continue to motivate me. It's weird and all but really, truly, you 're an amazing person. Never fail to make me smile during trainings. I know that Im just angsty and all in front of you most of the time.. Im sorry for that. Aha. & yes you , I like you . ♥ Aish..

Im feelin vexed. Makin no difference in life. So fucked up now.

Have a little hope.

What if i found a guy and end up getting abused by him? Im so gullible, so naive, so tainted wif emotions that could kill. Im so scared to step out of this little box of mine. Afraid of being loved. Afraid that this demon inside me will kill me. I don't really know what's that one thing that would get me to stop what i've been doing for so long. I can barely trust anyone. Sometimes i just wanna be alone but i know it's not possible. Sometimes, i jusy feel lyk throwing my phone away and shut the world out but i don't becos i feel this responsibility to take care of ppl. What is wrong wif me right? I dont know. I doubt myself honestly. I see myself as a gonner.

Words. Kill me again? Dammit.