Youth

Misunderstood is my word of the day. People just don't get you sometimes. Your mentality. I can't explain it... It's like an a HUGE heart shape. You draw and doodle on it. It looks nice then you remember, it's all your imagination. Ok, that's even more confusing. I am screwing up my mid year. Misplacing all my thoughts. Running wild. Running scared. Running all alone. I WANT A NEW LIFE. lol. I want to snuggle up in bed. I want to curse at the top of my lungs. I want to see myself as a movie director. I want to be seen as an individual. I don't want to struggle again. i don't want to be lied to anymore. I'm not lovable but I'm not a bitch here. I'm a fucking human people. Or are you blind? ♥With Love

Freeaakk! I am so pissed at myself. The freaking orange ball hates me during CCA. Then I am screwing up in my classes. Then I am tired. Then I'm frustrated. Then people think I'm desperate for a Bf. WTF? Am really going berserk. When people lie to you, won't you feel so *ucked up? Then your teachers anf friends think you have a problem. Then I'm not even prepared for the freaking exams. Then you fought with your sisters. Then you are tomboyish and you can't change. Then you want to cut your hair but you don't have the time. Then your mangled hand is hurt by other who grab you hand. Then you are freaking pissed. Then I am tired. Then... ♥Happy Endings are never meant to be

That's me. Me, the freaking girl who slammed her fist against things. That's me. Ironically, it doesn't hurt... I'm just so sick of people telling me who I should be. But at least they say it nicely. I'm not okay but I'm fine. Pain in dictionary: bodily suffering caused by injury, illnesses, etc or mental suffering. Pain in MY dictionary: fun.vain enjoyment . ♥Things change without warning... Let the rain fall. Sorry. I'm gonna get better.

When things go wrong, leave it as it is. I sprawl on the floor, my hand swollen. I want to see blood but what next? Is it my heart or am i scared to death? We all lie, one way or another. I may look all okay, but have you seen the inside? We will all fall down. It's a matter of time. I am a lover but I am also a destroyer. Let's all be drunkard freaks! Say yay people! Search for that special star. Say your loves before I throw you down. Be understood! ♥Zee

I suck. I haven't finished my life. I suck. If I ever lost my sight, then I'll know, whether love is indeed blind. So tell me, do you want to be blind to see what love really is? Freak. I'm just so frustrated. Awkward silence. Sleepwish. ♥With Love

I banged the shit out of myself today. My hands are sore. Blue black on right wrist to palm and an extremely painful left wrist. But I enjoyed it you see... That is what scares me. It was a great pleasure and I really enjoyed it. I felt free and glad. My friends call me crazy. Well, I think I am now... ♥Going crazy(:

On Monday, we came back from March Holidays. Yeah, that’s about all other than a new timetable. Tuesday, I didn't understand Chemistry. Mrs. Henry held 3/5 back to finish writing our resilience Journal before releasing us. Juliana drank strawberry ice blend and we ate some really spicy potato chips for $0.60. Spicy!!! I found Mr. Seet's notes for Atomic Structure and Ionic Bonding (: Wednesday, F&N was great without having to learn it. Ben slept in SS. His eyes were blood red when he woke up. Had Math test which I have already 100% lost 3 marks. Thursday, I was a little down so I never run during PE. I had to read as Elizabeth Proctor for Literature. Had Math supplementary. Lol. Ok ah... Friday, damn this day. Ate chocolate teddies in class just after spontaneous writing. Miss Kamath caught me putting me in my mouth becos she walked from 3/7 there... During literature, I get to say the word WHORE and it was so great (: During recess, Anisa and Wan Qiu was crapping and Tiffa...

Some things are just meant not to be tampered with. Life, feelings, emotions, faith and love. We humans let it die out and fade at times. It's our selfishness. We let everything look innocent, when inside it's all frigging' broken. No, I'm no expert or specialist. But hey, I know how it feels to feel. Walk in my shoes... You'll feel all lonely and in despair. hated, ugly, unwanted and different, like you just don't belong. If you think this is a joke, you are a real fucking jerk. Mean freaks like (maybe) you ruin lives like my own. So I am a hyper freak, I get it yo. It's a part of me I just can't erase... but that doesn't mean I hate it. I am a girl who loves me. I accept who I am as I am. I hate some things about me but I don't blame someone for my sadness. Hear that Juliana? Don't harass..... Everyone wants to know the truth, but I can't handle the truth. ♥who i really am.

Had a horrible week. Being paranoid. Juliana bought lays for me and her Fun sia go and hyper up Oh and finish the CCA board. Very proud of it...not really. Luckily I hide in all the pictures^^ Had maths test. Miss ong say highest is girls and 30. Lol. Whatever la. Like I care. Went berserk during CCA. that boy pissed me off. He irritates me. Juliana laughed so hard after inside joke. My fren in front of me in class is so loner this week. Sorry I noisy ah. Guy beside me in class give me sweet. Then my class is well, like that ah. At home and rotting ppl. ♥Hahahaa

Why do I feel so alone? It is like an empty heart. Is it the spaces in between? Why is my life getting so hard? day by day... when will I feel complete? there is so little to achieve. I don't care anymore. I can hardly wake up each morning. Gasp? Can you all give me a chance? Give me a chance to show you, who I really can be. It's different now. I'm different. I'm letting go... Of those insane memories, which held me behind. I will try my very best. Just my best... ♥Just love

Have not been out much... Mais's house for CME project...(MON) Tiffany's house for fun(SAT) LoL. Tiff was really funny^^ Other than that, finished all hwk on MON! I am so nerdy (sadsad) Have not have fun cause... I dun really have a reason. YIKES! Maybe I'm gonna turn into one of those freaks. Cant get out of the house! ArGh!!! Okok... Tze Min, get well soon yeah? I am gonna be in so much trouble. I want to get into trouble. Spice up this life a bit more. Push myself to the limit. Hehe^^ ♥Miserable loves company

After that Friday, I mix and matched some clothes. I like this one best. A light pink sleeveless and green 'tie' Gloretta made the tie for me Anyway, having a bullshit holidae. Forgot SS textbk and The Crucible from Tiff. OMG! Haha. I am hoping for some miracle this holiday. Lol. And my CA1 was alritez... The laptop keeps shutting down. What the shit ritez? Anyway, am in awestruck mood. Hehe. Happy Holidays Yeah? ♥WOOTZ

I am guilty. I'm NOT a stalker. So they saiy I am a fake. I may have lied a little. I know it's worth the lie. I want to touch the twinkling stars. Class cheer is kinda cool. Gloretta is sitting beside me. WtF? I'm filled with boredom. ♥With Love

i was not ever alive. i wish i could be nicer... i wish people would know me before judging me. i wish i am a better friend than i am now. i wish i didn't have mood swings... i wish i could say what i feel in my heart. i wish i could be who i want to be. stop making me feel all alone. stop blaming me for things i have never done. stop making me feel guilty all the time. i cant take it anymore. i have enough of these lies and hatred. i am all gone. ALL GONE! ♥no more love left

I am so dead. Not prepared for the common tests OR anything that comes with it. I cant remember anything about SS. Then comes the part that I am tired. Tired of always having to listen. Not that it sucks but no one understands this bloody world anymore. It's gone berserk people! I want a new friend. Hehe. Can I buy one? Okay... that was random. BOUGHT NEW EARPIECE! pink^^ ♥With Love

I HATE Valentines' Day. Seriously. I'm always single... So I read my PC journal today. There is so much random stuff in there. I am DONE with my homework. I discovered my phone RAWKS. I love oreos and wishes that I would get an oreo cake^^ Too much writing made my hand numb. I couldn't even move it. Haha I took an overdose of aspirins and have become so tiggerish. (pooh's fren) TTFE ♥With Love

Hmm... I'm a backstabber isn't it? well...well..well... I wonder who said that. Is it you? Guilty conscience? It's so sad that you don't come straight to me. Let's clear things out. Make Peace Not War. PEOPLE, my life is so bullshit right now. Stop rambling about me. F*ck you for it. (clearing throat) Goodnight. ♥So much for love, Me.

OhMyGod! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TZE MIN! Haha. 15 years old eh? Well, may all your wishes come true. I'll always love you yeah?! And bestie, I would always remember you. You're a special star. IN my HEART. hehe ♥With Love, Zee

I am just the same as all the other people. Dont treat me differently. Camp was well... bitchy, fun, painful and ... I got a new phone! Thanks dad If you have some misunderstandings abt me, please, see me in person. We'll clear it all out. Let's all shed tears for all of our foolishness. ♥With Love, Zee

Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat from Keisha's Blah Blah Blah Trust me, I'm not that little play about bitch. I want a GIGANTIC teddy bear! lol. That was so random. I saw sooo many while buying Tze Min's b'dae present. Haha. ♥With Love