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Deafening Silence

It’s 2020 and I’m back here again. It’s been a journey. The highs were undeniably amazing. Solo tripping around Berlin, Germany. Something I can only dream of but eventually did. And going on a road trip with a friend I’m not even that close with. Wow. And then there’s the boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months now. Hmm... I guess I’m just really tired. I’m not sure why relationships are so vibe consuming. It’s like being given a warning and still going ahead with it. Sigh.
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When it falls.

There are words that I have left behind. A past that I never want to retell. Lies that I feel guilty of. Tears that I am supressing inside. Longing that I've been feeling for too long. ... Is this pain I feel? My whole future is blinded by it. People around me play deaf with me. I can't stop feeling fu.king sad. I feel like I'm being dragged down with force. So much force. I'm surrounded but why? Why do I feel so lonely inside? Becos I'm invinsible. Becos I'm still empty. Becos I'm being hated. Becos I'm being misunderstood. Becos I'm almost (almost) dead anyway. ... Hear me out humans! Tell me that I'm here! I hurt too. JUST LIKE YOU. Stop ignoring me! I don't want your attention. I JUST WANT TO STOP BEING PUT DOWN ALL THE TIME DAMMIT! You bitch. I want to get back at you. But I won't becos I can't. Cos I'm torned right now. ♥i'm breaking soon. p.s. Who knows what true loneliness is - not the conventional word but the naked t
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