What if?..

What if i found a guy and end up getting abused by him? Im so gullible, so naive, so tainted wif emotions that could kill. Im so scared to step out of this little box of mine. Afraid of being loved. Afraid that this demon inside me will kill me. I don't really know what's that one thing that would get me to stop what i've been doing for so long. I can barely trust anyone. Sometimes i just wanna be alone but i know it's not possible. Sometimes, i jusy feel lyk throwing my phone away and shut the world out but i don't becos i feel this responsibility to take care of ppl. What is wrong wif me right? I dont know. I doubt myself honestly. I see myself as a gonner.