26th June 2016
Minced my thoughts into pieces and bleed emptiness.
Constant Struggle
I’ve been having issues with my weight since maybe around 12? At 12, my routine was using my bus card to buy McDonalds. At 13, I entered a mixed school and was teased for being fat. At 14, I still didn’t understand why I was being teased for being fat. At 15, I wanted to be skinny too and started to run. At 16, I was having so much insecurities I caved in but was average. At 17, I was one of the fatter ones in my CCA squash and had a hard time during training. At 18, I had the desire to be skinny, really skinny. At 19, I was skinnier and wanted to go down the scale some more. At 20, I was skinny, trained like mad and just traced my bones to sleep each night. At 21, I gained so much weight I cried about my weight bitterly so many times. At 22, I was in a constant weight battle from the high to the low on the scales. Now, I’m just a broken mess of numbers. I’ve defined myself by numbers. And it won’t go away. But oh wells. It’ll pass.
Comments